For adult children

You are not taking over. You are propping up.

The hardest part of arranging care for a parent is not logistics. It is doing it without turning a parent into a patient and yourself into their manager.

Where to startHow much is enoughKeeping their sayFree assessment

How do I arrange care for an aging parent?

Start by working out where the day actually breaks down rather than deciding a number of hours. Most families begin with a few hours covering the hardest block — usually mornings for bathing, dressing and medication — and adjust from there. Keep the parent making the decisions they can still make, start with tasks rather than personal care if there is resistance, and use the free in-home assessment to get an honest read on what is genuinely needed.

The mistake almost everyone makes first

Deciding what your parent needs and then presenting it. It is well meant and it almost never works, because the thing being heard is not “here is help” but “I have decided you cannot manage”.

The version that works keeps them in the chair where decisions get made. Which days. What time. What the caregiver does first. Whether it is a trial month. Every choice you leave with them lowers the resistance, and none of them cost you anything.

It is also worth saying out loud that you are not trying to take over. A lot of parents assume that is exactly what is happening, because that is what they watched happen to their own parents.

A sensible order to do this in

Roughly, and adjust to your family:

Walk the house properly on your next visit — the fridge, the bin, the bathroom, the pile of mail
Anything about their body or their medication goes to their doctor, not to an agency
Work out which block of the day is actually failing, rather than guessing a number of hours
Raise it as a task, not as a verdict — the driveway, the laundry, the driving
Start with something impersonal if there is any resistance; bathing can come later
Book the free assessment, which commits you to nothing and gives you a real number
Start smaller than you think and adjust after a few weeks
Let the caregiver's daily reports tell you what is actually happening in between visits

Personal Touch Home Care provides non-medical in-home care. Our caregivers assist with daily living, safety and companionship. They do not provide nursing, wound care, injections, physical therapy or any service requiring a licensed clinician. If that is what is needed, it is a home health agency, and we will tell you so.

Common questions

My siblings disagree about what to do. How do we resolve it?

Usually by getting an outside read. Everyone is arguing from a different snapshot — the one who visits weekly sees something different from the one who calls on Sundays. A free assessment gives the whole family the same set of facts to argue from, which resolves a surprising amount of it.

How do I know if I am doing too much?

If you have stopped sleeping properly, cancelled things that mattered to you, or find yourself resentful and then guilty about being resentful, you are past the line. That is the point respite exists for.

Do I have to be there when the caregiver comes?

Not usually, and after the first visits most families are not. You get told what happened either way.

What if my parent says no?

Then it is no for now. Read our guide on talking to a parent about care — pushing generally costs you the next conversation too.

Talk to someone about your situation.

Call and describe what is happening at home. We will tell you what we can do, what we cannot, and what it would take.

☎ (575) 639-3341 Request care →